Oliver Hutton, “If”

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If I could live the life I always dreamed,
How different would it be?
If I could change the way things seem,
How much more would I be me?

If you could roll your desires into one,
Piss on them with a water gun,
Flush them forever down the loo…
What then would you do?

If we could live without fear, more truly,
Not at arm’s length, shaking hands coolly,
Not Eves and Abels or jailers of humans,
But kissing!
Like Leighs and Gables or Taylors and Newmans.

If you could relinquish self and ego,
Would you step out of your own way?
Or sit at home watching Finding Nemo—
(Watch it, actually. It beats the ballet.)

If I could avoid this traffic jam,
Would you be reading the words here writ?
Even Seuss’s Green Eggs and Ham
Mightn’t exist without the shit.

For I have seen despair, disgrace,
Stepped out of the dark, looked Hate in the face;
It wasn’t some gross, disfigured elf.
Come close, I’ll tell you: it was my self.


Oliver Hutton’s previous publications are two poems: “The Plant Whisperer” in Clementine Poetry Journal (October 2015), and “Re: Spectre” in Clementine Unbound (January 2016).


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